Salt Lake Community College Communications 1010- 415 March 6th, 2015
There are a variety of different improvements I would like to fix regarding my communication skills. One improvement that I think would help benefit my communications the most would be listening more attentively to classmates, co-workers, family and peers. Listening plays an important role in everyday life. The first thing we hear in the morning is an alarm clock; if we ignore it in the morning then the rest of our day is off schedule. Listening to our bosses, and co-workers are vital so we know what jobs need to be done that day. Almost everything we do in life requires some sort of communicating and listening to others. At work and school I am involved in lots of communications and talking with others, but I am just not the greatest at listening to details and comprehending what everyone says. I am going to work on the psychological barrier of preoccupation and a listening style known as talk and interrupt less. I need to learn these skills so I am able to improve the many aspects in my life that requires healthy communication.
Description of Problem: One bad habit that I have when conversing with others is interrupting them. At times during a conversation when the person talking can’t think of a certain word, I automatically blurt out what I think they are trying to say. Sometimes this can be useful, but most of the time I feel like I have made myself seem impatient by jumping to a conclusion. The text reads, “Sometimes the best approach to listening is to stay out of the way and encourage the other person to talk” (Adler, Elmhorst and Lucas, 68). I feel that if I interrupt less and encourage the other to speak more, the conversation will flow more freely. For example, the other day at work I was talking to a patient and they were explaining a type of medication they needed. While they were explaining the reasons they needed it, they couldn’t think of one of their symptoms. I blurted out what I thought it might be based on the information I had received. My assumption was wrong and it offended the patient. I felt embarrassed for what I said, and then apologized and the conversation was more rigid after the fact. Had I listened to the patient without interrupting them; it would have been a brief conversation with no difficulties.
Resources and Constraints: There are resources surrounding me that will help improve my listening and concentration skills. The text gives a great example; “If you are normally a talkative person, consider rationing you comments when trying to listen. Imagine you have only a finite number of words available so that you can speak only when it is absolutely necessary” (Adler, Elmhorst and Lucas, 68). The text is a great source for aiding in the realization of my weaknesses and gives me advance on the steps I need to take in order to change my habit. Another great source would be one of the doctors that I work under. He provides an excellent example of a great listener. He easily gets behind in his schedule because he gives each patient 100% of his time and attention. He listens to every problem and complaint that they have which puts him behind schedule most days. Because he is behind schedule the patients get very upset. Even those upset patients forget about being angry because of his ability to listen to their problems. One constraint that might interrupt my ability to be a better listener is preoccupation. The most important thing on my mind should be the conversation at hand and not topics that don’t directly associate with the conversation. Recommendations: In order for me to have the success that I desire in a conversation I need to set my preoccupations aside and listen to what is being said. “Your job is to listen attentively and determine what your prospects require. Before they are prepared to listen to your pitch, they want to tell you what they’re looking for” (Adler, Elmhorst and Lucas, 68). There are three specific steps from the text that outlines affective ways to become a superior listener. The first way to improve is by analytical listening and it can be put simply as listen before forming judgments. Doing this will help in the process of not jumping to conclusions, it is more time consuming but can ensure that I receive the proper amount of information before I speak. The second way is listening more effectively; this involves careful and thoughtful attention and responses to the messages we receive (Adler, Elmhorst and Lucas, 66). In contrast to listening effectively, mindless listening involves automatic responses and very little mental involvement. In order for me to listen effectively, I need to get rid of my preoccupations and focus on the moment. Each conversation is unique because every person has their own understanding of the meaning of words. Therefore, I cannot give automatic responses treating every conversation as if it were the same. The third way I will improve my listening skills is listening to understand. Talking and interrupting less will be beneficial; the book states a rule known as the 20-80 rule. This rule could be used for my own standard as well by talking 20 percent of the time and listening 80 percent. Another idea is to ask questions, which shows the sender that I am paying attention to the conversation and is a good way to verify that I understand.
Conclusion: I have a difficult time with giving speakers my full attention, which hinders my ability to be a good co-worker, friend and classmate. I am concerned that others may think that I am not paying attention to them or am not interested in what they have to say. When I am speaking and I know that the listener isn’t listening, it offends me because I feel like I am not, or what I have to say, is not important. Therefore, I should reciprocate this feeling towards those who are speaking to me at all times. It is my goal to change these habits by improving my listening skills by using analytical listening, mindful listening and listening to understand. I am enthusiastic to use these concepts in my everyday life to improve my relationships with others.
Works Cited
Adler, R & J. Elmhorst.(2010). Communicating at Work: SLCC Custom Edition. New York: McGraw Hill.